Girls on bicycles

18/11/2014

I was quietly enjoying my stroll along the walkway across west lake – It was a beautiful sunny day and I had just ditched my cohort because I couldn’t take the faffing and indecisiveness anymore (try moving a group of 40 plus people all together through the metro and you’ll get why I didn’t hold up my previous resolution to stay with the group and be a better participant!).  Families, friends and couples were out enjoying the day with a stroll, trolley ride or cycle across the overpass.  I was elated to be near water again and watched the boats go by with envy. I longed for my canoe so that I could just push off across the lake with paddle in hand, feeling the water underneath me.

I was feeling at peace with the world – as I do when I am near water – when I saw the first one…

The young girl was riding her bike with her friend and when they reached the bridge he continued peddling up and over while she stopped at the bottom, hopped off the bike and walked over the bridge. I saw this happen two or three more times and each time I would get even more worked up. I wanted to grab the bike out of their hands and show them how it is done. I wanted to show everyone that women too could ride up hill (it wasn’t even a hill!!).

The thing that really got to me about the whole scene is that the girl wouldn’t even try to make it over the bridge; she wouldn’t even go half way…She just got off and walked as if there was an invisible hand stopping her from going any further. I assumed that maybe it was because she didn’t want to look ungraceful and indelicate huffing and puffing her way up the hill. I can’t stand watching women play the role of the weak and delicate flower any more than I can stand men playing the role of the strong and gallant hero come to save the damsel in distress.

For a long time afterwards, I reflected on the experience and in particular, questioned my reaction to what had happened. Why did I get so worked up over a few girls walking their bikes over a bump? Was it really that big a deal? Was I overreacting?

I realized that my upbringing and cultural values led me to interpret women walking their bikes as a sign of weakness. I don’t know the actual reason why they were walking their bikes, nor can I explain how this act was perceived or defined by Chinese cultural standards, but to me it sent the message that women are weak and delicate and should not exert themselves physically for fear of messing up their makeup.

It reminds me of a passage citing Carol Hanisch in bell hooks’ From margin to centre (1984):

Women don’t want to pretend to be weak and passive. And we don’t want phony, weak, passive-acting men any more than we want phony supermen full of bravado and little else. What women want is for men to be honest. Women want men to be bold – boldly honest, aggressive in their human pursuits. Boldly passionate, sexual and sensual. And women want this for themselves.

But is that really what women want? It is not unusual here to see men carrying their girlfriends’ purse or holding the umbrella for them…Weak and passive women and men full of bravado might not be what I want, but I can’t speak for everyone. In China as in many places, men are expected to be gallant and chivalrous while women are expected to be docile; grateful to men for their protection and admiring of men for their strength and courage.

Beauty, in this case, becomes not only an issue of how someone should look, but also how they should act and what they should or shouldn’t do. In the words of Naomi Wolf (1991), “The beauty myth is always actually prescribing behavior and not appearance”.  It can limit one’s capabilities by suggesting that certain activities are unattractive or undesirable for one gender or the other. Like sweating; sweating is not considered sexy in most places, which is why some girls might prefer to walk their bike than to break a sweat trying to peddle their bike uphill.

In my classes we often use the term “losing face” to describe how people act to preserve their dignity. “Face” refers to people’s egos or pride, and therefore, “losing face” means anything that would damage someone’s ego or make them look bad. In China, looks also indicate socioeconomic status and character traits so looking sweaty and dishevelled might be interpreted as someone who is lazy, lower class or uneducated.  Similarly, in Cameroon, a common insult was to call someone a “villageois” (villager) which means someone who is uncivilized, unsophisticated and ignorant. Generally, this was also attributed to anyone who looked unfashionable or unattractive.

I feel a bit like a villageoise in China. I am too rough around the edges for Chinese society. Delicate, elegant, sophisticated and fashionable are not words that you could use to describe me, yet they have come up several times in conversations as desirable traits that people look for and expect in a woman. Where I come from, however, more value is placed on characteristics of independence, self-sufficiency and toughness. Yukoners, and northerners in general, often pride themselves on their ability to withstand harsh conditions; to endure and survive. Physical exploits and tough challenges are prized and celebrated. We attempt crazy feats just so we can brag about it later. For me, losing face means pushing my bike up the hill, doing the “walk of shame”. Beauty, while still an important concept in the North, is not necessarily associated with the same traits of delicateness, sophistication and elegance that you find here in China; reinforcing the fact that beauty is relative to different people and contexts.

Hooks, B. (1984). Feminist theory: From margin to center. Cambridge, MA: South End Press
Wolf, N. (1991). The beauty myth: How images of beauty are used against women. Random House.

Pictures from my walk around West Lake